JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST......
At 2007-07-25 on 1:09 a.m.
This entry is for myself nobody else should have to read my downfalls all the time and they just keep coming it seems...Thank goodness I got a call from my son Wes tonight-I so needed to hear his voice and save me from having another horriable night filled with major tears-my head is killing me from all the crying I have done in the past few days..Like Wes said-this has been a horriable summer for us-im just glad he has been away to not go thru it with us....
Last night it was the night I was looking forward to-a night to just relax with my husband and chill but that changed in one or two or three phone calls-my mom fell yesterday afternoon-she tripped over the vacuum cleaner and landed all in the catfood and she couldnt get up at all and had to lay there for over 45 mintues until my dad got home from work and he was telling her to try and get up and she was crying that she couldnt so he calls me and my brother and me and my husband are out in the garage working and miss the calls and my brother had went off and had to turn around and come home to call the ambulance for my mom cause my dad said it was too expensive to call for one-fucker-my brother told our dad that he will remember that if he is ever having a heart attack-its too expensive to call for one-my poor mom is laying on the ground with her leg twisted like a pretzel and her hip feeling like its broke and she cant move and 911 is telling my brother not for her to move and of coarse it seemed like it took them forever to get there-before that my poor mom had her cats eating the catfood off of her while she was laying there and then my dad and his compulsive cleaning ass vacuumed around her while she layed on the floor...I make it to the hospital and i find her in the er and and she is shaking because of the pain she is in and when i walked in i almost lost it-she looked so old and fragile-it broke my heart but i kept it together until i left...my brother showed up but of coarse my dad didnt-he said he could find a parking spot at the hospital-bullshit-of coarse it took forever for them to see my mom and when they finally took xrays nothing showed up cause everything is way too swollen and filled with blood so they give her crutches and a brace and send her on her way with some meds-I HATE ERS....-that day of her accident she made a appt. to see a ortho dr. cause she needs a knee replacement and she has a appt. for the 31st...im sure they will have to do a mri to see the real damage....my brother is with her today and tomorrow and I will be with her the rest of the week-i wish she would just come to my house but she won cause like always she is thinking about everybody else but herself....
I called Crystal and told her today what happened and she freaked out and got us both bawling and she begged my mom to come back to her house this past sunday to stay with them for awhile and I told my mom to also...Crystal was telling me things that my mom told her that she didnt tell me cause being her daughter she knew i would get upset and crystal was crying really hard saying she cant take thi anymore and she told my mom that she is just going to go ahead and reserve a spot next to her mom-my aunt jean-cause all the stress my mom is under with living with my dad that she is going to be next and that just tore me apart that my own mom wont tell me things-we have always told my mom to come live with us and she has in the past-my dad is not physical but he sure is verbal abusive and i lived thru it as a kid and me and my brother dont have a ounce of self confidence...there is so much going on with my mom that im really scarred the stress is going to kill her and my husband said my stress of late is much worse then my moms-which it isnt-so my husband is really worried about me-i am not a crier and now i cant stop-im a basket case....
this weekend we had such a good weekend too-crystal and her clan came to pick up her son and on Saturday we took all the boys to Dave and Busters and they had a fun time and then we all went shopping at Kohls cause zach packed shorts that didnt fit him anymore so they needed to get him some new shorts and they were having a great sale so all the guys left me and crystal and my mom and zach at kohls and they went back to our house-then we all meet up for dinner at one of our favorite places and we all had a great time besides when crystals husband got ahold of some bad crab claws and then of coarse we all started feeling sick-mental games-we gave hugs and parted ways-they had to leave early on sunday...that night at their hotel caine puked everywhere and my hubby said monday his tummy was hurting too....so our favorite place isnt our favorite place anymore but it wasnt our choice to go there so dont blame us ;)~
Now comes Sunday night-oh yeah baby-me and my doug doug went to see Tim and Faith in concert and we had fantastic seats-yeha-finally-well so we thought-when the show started we had the spotlight shinning right in our eyes the whole night blinding us-everybody in our section was trying to block the light with thier hands-but this is par for the coarse-i have the worst luck at concerts but we actually had a amazing time and get ready-yesssss i got to rub Tims leg and touch the gold chain he had hanging on his pants and slapped hands with my pretend husband Tim McGraw and got some good pictures-not great but good-and I touched beautifil Faith a few times and she is beautiful and they are the sexy ass couple ever-then came the encore and we got right in front of the stage and got some more high fives from Faith and Tim and the rest of the band members and Doug caught 2 guitar picks-one of Tims and one of another band members...and tim and Faith sang their last song "I NEED YOU" and the love that they have for one another was just flowing all around and was so damn sexy and after the song Tim was bawling his eyes out which made me cry like a baby and Faith had tears in her eyes-I LOVE THEM!!!!! Of coarse his mom and sisters and family were in the crowd-they live here-his mom is from here and tim was concieved here from Tug McGraw when he played for the Jax.Suns minor league baseball team....WE HAD A GREAT TIME and have lots of pictures but since i didnt renew my membership here i cant post them here so i will post them soon at myspace or my other blog-i will inform ya'll when i do if you want to check them out....
now i have another thing i HAVE to do but I cant bring myself to do and my husband TOLD ME I BETTER NOT DO IT TONIGHT(the poor guy is so worried about me)Crystal forward the pictures of her mom when david abused her the first time and crystal took pictures-i told her to send them to me so i can have them on my computer too just incase asshole gets out of prison and does something-although the police already have a copy of them i wanted a copy of them too-i am soooo damn scarred to look at them but i have to-i have to see what this bastard did to her-i'll do it tomrrow after i get back my my neuro dr. appt. im already scarred im going to lose it in his office and he will think im crazy-im not its just been a shitty ass year-with death after death and death and back surgery and my boy all the way in alaska doing a dangerous job....life goes on good or bad gotta roll with the punches i guess....
i want my headache to stop and the stress to go away!!!! please!!!!